Girlhood: Empty Consent & Defining Granular Harm / Melissa Febo

Critically acclaimed author Melissa Febos joins me to discuss her most recent collection of essays, Girlhood — "a gripping set of stories about the forces that shape girls and the adults they become."

I first became aware of Melissa and her book Girlhood from an essay she published in The New York Times Magazine titled I Spent My Life Consenting to Touch I Didn’t Want, adapted from an essay published in the then-to-be-released Girlhood. Her personal reflections on the concept of "empty consent" from her experiences attending a cuddle party (pre-pandemic), compelled me to contact her to discuss the complex issues she deftly navigates through that essay. After reading Girlhood, I recognized the significance of her masterful writing and exploration of her own childhood and development into womanhood. We discuss, within the 47-minute interview, a few of the significant insights I drew out of my reading, including the gradients of consent and trauma, and the role men can, and must, play in upending patriarchy in our time.

Video Segment:

Bio:

Melissa Febos is the author of the critically acclaimed memoir, Whip Smart (St. Martin’s Press 2010), and the essay collection, Abandon Me (Bloomsbury 2017), which was a LAMBDA Literary Award finalist, a Publishing Triangle Award finalist, an Indie Next Pick, and was widely named a Best Book of 2017. Her second essay collection, Girlhood, a National Bestseller, was published by Bloomsbury on March 30. A craft book, ‘Body Work,’ will be published by Catapult in March 2022.

Episode Notes:

Learn more about Melissa and her work at her website

Purchase Girlhood through Bookshop

Read I Spent My Life Consenting to Touch I Didn’t Want

Music produced by Epik The Dawn